Posted: September 20, 2011 in brain cancer awareness, developments, treatment

image courtesy of Lewis center for Neuro Imaging

(the person pictured above is not me) 🙂

photo courtesy of Lewis Center for Neuro Imaging

I had my MRI done last Saturday at St. Luke’s Q.C. Its a one hour session. If you’re claustrophobic, you won’t like it. The tube is so small that you’ll think that its caving in on you. I don’t mean to scare but that’s just how it feels when you’re reeled in. The room is cold,the MRI machine is cold and noisy. You lie on your back, and for an hour or more(depending on the body part that will be MRI-ed) and you’re not allowed to move. Oh and you’re strapped in the bed to prevent you from moving. You’ll be given ear muffs to help with the loud noise and a panic button in case claustro kicks in. Good thing is Nina was allowed to be beside me during the session. When the session starts you’ll here a lot of different construction-like noise, sometimes star trek-like noise as if you’re engaged in inter-galactic dog fight. That’s my cue to start my prayers, to take my mind off claustro, boredom and to ask HIM for good results. Got the results yesterday from my doctor, well, the result was same as last time, the tumor is still there but at least it did not multiply and it didn’t grew bigger. I said “thank God!! I’ll take it!” another good news is : no more chemo yet, i will be monitored via MRI every 3mos. I will also be taking a supplement to improve my immunity (Zilongjin). Please let me know if you’ve heard of it. Still, i’m begging for your prayers for complete healing. Thank so much for the support in whatever form, to you who’s reading this, you’ve helped extend my stay here on earth 🙂 salamat!



Posted: September 13, 2011 in brain cancer awareness, random entries

someone once asked me “how am i doing?”  for someone who doesn’t have cancer you just take whatever the response is, but you don’t really get how it really is.  i used to be that person, outside looking in. now its the opposite, when i heard that question, all i can utter was, “difficult”. difficult in many ways physical, mental, emotional, financial and so on.

physical there would be days when you just dont want to get up, your body tells you to slow down but i wont. because i want to play with my kids as long as i can til i am here, because nobody knows. i still get up to go to work, because there are bills medicines, treatments and debts to pay. i still get up because i want my wife and my family to know that i appreciate them even when i don’t look like it, even when at times i feel i’m a heavy burden. i can’t help but think sometimes. i still get up because i dont want to give up, its not an option! its been a long fight, not sure where i am exactly but i pray that i am getting there.

mental, there would be times that i get scared, scared that i might not wake up the next day, talk to my kids or kiss my wife, my life feels and is, in fast forward. you don’t see it in me but i am. you only see the smiles and the laughter that i can muster but deep within i’m scared as a child.  scared that i might not be there when my kids grow up, get married, have children.  i just thank God every single morning that i wake up and feel the air fill my lungs.

emotional,  i never tear up after communion, i never used to cry when i pray, i guess when you’re praying for extension….   there would be times that i cry for no reason when i am just watching my kids play together. fight over a toy they both like, watch them sleep.  when they give me a hug  and a kiss for no reason.

financial, cancer in whatever form is a rich man’s disease. it will really drain you dry. sometimes i just notice myself staring blankly and ask…why me?

jolo: daddy are you still sick?

me: (can i say no?)

picture picture!

Posted: August 10, 2011 in random entries, Uncategorized


kulitJOLO  SKYLINELUCAS                KAMI


updates? update?

Posted: August 8, 2011 in random entries, Uncategorized

nothing really much to tell but for those waiting for updates, here we go  :D, I just had CBC (w/ Sodium and Potassium check) included  last Saturday the results were OK for my doctor to let me proceed with this month’s oral chemo cycle starting today til Friday. thank you to PCSO for this cycles’ meds supply, sana mas madami pa ang makinabang/matulungan mo.  i am back to work for a full month now and it feels like therapy. speaking of therapy, i am still continuing my physical and occupational therapy.  very tiring but i am happy after every session. 😀 my appetite is still ok, much better if you serve me sisig from razon’s or crispy dinuguan and laing from kanin club or halo halo noodles from le Ching!! 😀 I avoid sweets.  my tolerance for sweets kind of dwindled down a bit.  my bell’s palsy is almost gone, can’t even tell now that I had it. thank you LORD!!!

btw for those inquiring about GMP,we’re working on the gray project matters II. please wait for further announcements 🙂

more prayers and good vibes please!!

fever panic

Posted: July 19, 2011 in developments, my physical condition

Yesterday, I panicked, I admit, because I thought I had fever.  In my condition a little sneezing/coughing/pain/dizziness or a little feverish feeling I report it to my wife. I got worried because the first time I told Nina that I have fever, I actually had pneumonia, I had to stay at the hospital for 8 days with I.V. and meds and blood test. the second time I had fever, was just fever(thank God!)  high grade fever tho. so I was back in the hospital for a good six days I think. Again with I.V.,meds and what-nots. but yesterday, it was freaking cold in the office in the first half of the day, it was like around 24C inside our office but late in the afternoon the sun was blaring on our office room (we are at the 40th flr). It   was so hot outside it felt like the A/C was suddenly not working.  I felt hot but not feverish.  called up Nina to update her, told her it might just be the room temp and that i took a paracetamol already just in case. when she got to my office to pick me up she brought a thermometer, it registered 36.6 panic over(thank YOU!!!). whew! i just don’t like the thought of staying for a week in the hospital again.  I’d rather stay with my boys at home  😀

I was playing with Lucas last week when Lucas’ nanny told me that Jolo’s nanny had a dream, that i was already up and about with my usual daily morning 3km running routine.  I was going downstairs ready with my running gear.  But she has never seen me running before or at least  saw me in my running gear, i was already doing radio-therapy when she came in as Jolo’s nanny.

could it be sooner? 🙂 not complaining.  Just happy that people around me even my helpers are praying that i get well sooner.  🙂

all in His perfect time 😀

i miss being hands-on with my kids,playing and getting beaten down by kuya Jolo on PS3 , doing fun runs, swimming, driving(now that SLEX is so smooth and some parts of C5)

Btw i’m looking for an  OT (occupational therapist) that does home service let me know please.

last June 27  i was diagnosed to have contracted Bell’s palsy  I complained to my wife the day before that there was something wrong. i told her the left side of my face seem to be better than the right side. More like drooping right side.  So Nina texted my doctor who happened to be out of the country, referred us to Dr. Dom Jamora(neurologist), also from St. Luke’s/PGH who happened to be Ate Mel’s classmate from med school. He said it was a good thing that I immediately noticed and complained about it. so He got me started with steroids and supplements, good for a two week treatment. Prescribed additional facial exercises and massages which my PT taught me.  after about two days of treatment, my bells is almost unnoticeable and today its almost as if nothing happened. my face is almost back to normal, almost because i still look bloated due to steroids (o – ,- o) :p

some good news…. i’m on my 2nd week back at work 🙂 feeling much better already.  gained a few pounds as well from128lbs (3weeks ago) to 135lbs as of last night 😀 been eating anything since i have no restrictions. 🙂

So yes, I went back to work last friday and it was a refreshing feeling. after being in hiatus(sort of) for a number of weeks. I really felt great being outside. Was supposed to only stay till 1 or 2 pm but i just go so engrossed doing stuffs like updating my test environment on my laptop, reviewing previous client issues and resolutions, helping out with one of the issue during that day. i ended up logging ou at 6pm. :)then pasta and pizza diner at aveneto.

then yesterday, had my bloodworks done in the morning at St. Luke’s hospital then went straight to greenbelt1 for lunch and to buy some stuff. walked around(self help therapy for my left leg). had big chill avocado shake that i missed so much, refreshing! anticipated mass in the afternoon. PT this morning, sinugbang baboy and fried veggie lumpia for lunch! namit gid! of course meds for dessert 😀 Very tiring weekend but worth it. can’t wait for Monday! wait…. can’t wait for what?! i really am sick in the head LOL!!

Today, July 1, 2011, I’m back for work. I’ll definitely miss my boys at home, but it feels good to be out of the house, different environment. feels more like therapy as well. i missed Makati, my colleagues, and the view here at our office at the 40th floor.  Missed the food from nearby restos.  oh well wish me luck. more prayers and good vibes please!!

It’s been more than six months since I was diagnosed with brain cancer. Since then, I realized how blessed I was. Even if I was kind of, walking on the dark side, because I’ve been a non-practicing catholic for some time.  I can’t recall how many Sundays I missed to hear mass as compared to how I was before. I used to hear mass every Wednesday after the novena to our Lady of perpetual help, first Friday masses, and holidays of obligations even. It’s not that I don’ pray any more but I just got so comfortable thinking HE’S just around, near me. You might say I’m crazy, how can I say that I’m blessed when I can die with this disease-anytime. Well after I was informed of my condition I’ve realized   HE still let me live.  HE could’ve taken me in an instant like a severe heart attack or stroke, road accident or whatever, but no.  Is it a coincidence that my sis-in-law was a cardiologist? I guess not, how about my neurologist being her professor back in med school?  That my neuro – surgeon was the best in manila having been trained in the U.S. My neuro-oncologist was also one of the best (as of the time we met her, manila had only two neuro-oncologist).  my radio –oncologist was my Ninong Mario’s (my mom’s brother-in-law) professor in radiology back in med school? I guess – no. now I really believe that HE had planned everything for us even before we were born.  Even more blessings are the angels, cheering squad or friends who always kept our spirits up, will travel from the province just to see me here in manila.  Those who were so worried, when I didn’t go online for weeks.  Those who made fund raising a part of their precious time and sharing their talents and resources. My photog –  colleagues.  My friends from elementary, high school and college who made me feel like we never missed a day to communicate.  It’s as if we were just in school the day before they visited me. My friends from my previous employers, from unionbank, rcbc and bpi, it’s as if I still work with them. My colleagues from CCK.  I thank the Lord for giving me friends like you guys. And of course my family, my dad, my siblings, my aunts and uncles from both sides, my cousins you’re a crazy bunch!!  My mo-in-law,  my bro and sis-in -laws, relatives-in law. friends from banco de oro.  But most specially my own family, my ever patient, understanding and loving wife and my two boys. You’re my best reason why I strive to be strong and fight this stupid disease. (Bawi ako sa inyo pag wala na squatters sa ulo ko.) I thank HIM for all of these, and for many, many more years of good blessings.  AMEN!!!

taken last Jan. 03, 2011 after my EEG in Makati Medical center